3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
