i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
