Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize