dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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