He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
