so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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