I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize