i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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