My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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