I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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