Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize