Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
