ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
