marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
