I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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