Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
This baby is an asshole
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize