goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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