why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
