that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
