Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize