Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So. Much. Porn.
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