So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
