"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
