he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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