is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
