Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
And then he peed in my hair
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