Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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