Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?†This is time sensitive.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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