This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
