Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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