I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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