you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize