Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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