Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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