FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
