If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
