I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
