kristin has been a bad kristin
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Randomize
