OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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