I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I currently don't understand fingers.
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