I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
