I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
my poor anus
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Dear god my vagina.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
