And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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