I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
