Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
