before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Randomize
