That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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