Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
