I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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