you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
