you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
