We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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