found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm just crazy horny about you
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm sobbing to NWA
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize