fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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