This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just gift wrapped bread.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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