ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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