i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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