In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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