I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I want to fling myself into the sun
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
