none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
