does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
